Ah, the joys of home ownership!
Got up early this morning because I borrowed my friend's lawnmower Tuesday and they wanted it back today. So, in my infinite wisdom, I cleared what I could of the back yard of debris and cranked that baby up and headed west, like a new pioneer.
I'd forgotten about the sewer outlet cover.
You can see where this is going. Since the back yard hasn't been mowed since the dawn of time (I think my indigent people who normally show up to do it mowed it back in March?) it was a little overgrown. I'd forgotten the sewer outlet was not flush with the outside wall and the grass had grown over it. Needless to say I heard this terrible sound and pulled it back- but too late.
It looks like a neatly exploded mining disaster. Nice "little" hole in sewer pipe. I won't tell you what I said but I kept mowing, making note that I need to cut down the new Mimosa forest, discovered trees I thought were dead are very much alive... Once the gas ran out and I stumbled light headed into the house to find a seat for a moment I vowed that I was going to call a landscaping service to bulldoze the rest of it down, as soon I called the plumber.
I'd planned on calling the plumber anyway, since the kitchen sinks were clogging again and actually draining out through the old washer outtake pipe and flooding the garage. I discovered this early in July when I poured the water contents of the canning pot down the sink and stepped into the garage to do a load of wash. (The old outtake pipe had the top pipe broken off at the U joint and my father in law had rigged a new system to have this drain out the old propane dryer outlet when he was here. Since I use environmentally friendly wash soap, this has not been a problem.) The garage was FLOODED. Not a huge problem for the contents of the garage since everything is off the floor on pallets or overturned milk crates but it's still disconcerting to step into Lake Erie after washing some dishes. Also, we were having some issues with the tank on the master bath toilet as well so I figured, well, let's call and just get all four of these things done at one.
Plumber came, pretty quickly (about 3 hours later).
Project 1: toilet tank. Well, the plumbing in the bathrooms is a little mysterious and boils down to the fact that they are fed by water hoses connected to the sink. It's a bizarre hose set-up. He tried to turn it off underneath the sink- but it was jammed tight (and has been since we had to replace the toilet ourselves due to the faucet replacement fiasco which is a story for another time). So we trot out to the meter. Meter is buried in dirt. Dug out dirt to turn off valve- well let's just say it was steadfast and immoveable. Great for people of moral rectitude, not great for water mains. So using one of the numerous basins that just multiply around the house, the hose to the tank was removed. Not sure how he got the water to stop but he did. The problem? When the tank was placed the seal slipped and it wasn't seated properly. Good news? Easy fix. Bad news? This is not a standard sized seal. So toilet is not working and he is coming back to fix it.
Project 2: Washer outtake valve. Opened garage door to the Great Flood and plumber went WTF? (Literally. I don't use that word with any real frequency but apparently this is a standard plumbing phrase). I explained to him the situation, he found a cap and this was done in 5 minutes. I hope after a few days the garage rbecomes the Sahara and I can spend more quality time ignoring it.
Project 3: Crater in sewer pipe. He is coming back Monday to cap this.
Project 4: Kitchen sinks.
This one is a doozy so I am going to have to start with a brief history of the house as we know it.
In 1956, the house was built. No one in the family knows who, what, where, when or why but it remains that it appeared on this plot of land in that year for whatever reason. I personally think it was spawned. If I lived on Discworld, I would suspect the architect was B.S. "Bloody Stupid" Johnson (likely a relative). At any rate, somewhere in the early '60's it appears the garage was added, the original patio became part of the house and the current cement patio was laid. Over the existing grey water system. For those of you who aren't familiar with that type of system, it has been explained to me that the pipes from the kitchen and the washer (garage) lead into a barrel which then is some type of primitive irrigation system for the lawn. The second owners (or possibly the first, we never really pinned it down) were the Episcopal Diocese of Gainesville. I am not certain how much entertaining they did so I'm not sure what the kitchen was like for them. But I do know what it was like for Gran.
Gran bought the house in 1968, probably with some inheritance money, and she did to my grandfather what she did later to me- bought the house and said, "We're moving" about the time she closed on it. She was a very shrewd woman as their old house is in now in a less respectable area and this area still commands pretty hefty prices, even with the downturn. At any rate, my gran- being a very social creature- loved to entertain. Loved to have us kids here, loved to have people come over, loved to hold court. But she was The Queen. I know that she could cook (she WAS raised on a farm) but it wasn't anything elaborate and, frankly I think when we were gone, cooking didn't happen very often. So I don't think the sinks were used a lot. Gran complained and called Roto-Rooter when necessary and when I moved in December 2003 she wouldn't let me use the dishwasher, complained that her washer was leaking and stated something about other people putting rice and such down the sinks.
After we moved in and Gran was in the hospital previous to being placed in the nursing home, the plumbing stopped. We discovered that it would not take any toilet paper but Scott tissue. We called a plumber after 2 days, discovered that the sewer outtake for the bathrooms was basically a big hole (not unlike today's) cut into the original iron pipe. This was fixed. Same plumber was called 6 months later to unclog the kitchen sinks. After playing the snake out the entire length and discovering that the kitchen was not connected to the sewer line, we investigated the sound and could not tell where the sinks were draining. This went on several times with various plumbers (5 times with the last as the same company I called today) and no answers. Today was different.
Today, I'd washed dishes before the plumber came (thus the Great Flood in the garage) and the sinks drained, leaving the same old stinky sludge it usually does. First thing in looking at the sink was the age old question- " Do you have a septic tank?" to which the answer is the ever present "I don't know but probably not." He looked at me and said "You have a grey water system and the lines and barrel have probably disentegrated." He gave me an estimate of how much it would cost- it's attainable but not cheap. And involves jackhammers. We will have to rip up one part or possibly the entire patio for this.
So much for the landscapers. I'm going to have to borrow the lawnmower again.
As for jam, I need to get the kitchen under control first. I might be able to get a batch out tomorrow, but we'll see.
By the way, the apple dessert the other night was a real hit! I will have to make it again soon.
Well, goodnight all!
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